Saturday, June 30, 2012

21.2.2012

Salam & Hello.
This is my true story.

Davangere - Bangalore.

Bangalore (Bengaluru) is the nearest city situated 167 Miles / 269 Kms away from davangere and the journey takes about 4-5 hours. it as a norm for davangere students to travel to bangalore on weekends or public holidays to get their shopping spree done, find good food which obviously do not exist in davangere, watch movies at an air-conditioned cinemas davangere only has the ones which are still using fans. ehem. and basically just to unwind and to breathe a lil' bit of fresh air. 

this is where my friends and i went to last february of 2012 for a 3 days and 2 nights trip. we took a bus to and fro with the tix costing us 250 rupees per way. booked 2 rooms in the hotel and crashed in. this bangalore trip seems like the ones we had before, until it is actually not.

on the early morning of 21st February 2012, we were involved with a road traffic accident on our way back to davangere. the bus that we got on crashed into the back of a 'goods carrier lorry' lori yang besar amat used for long distance logistics of goods. also known as 'lori ashok leyland'. the accident took place 6 Kms from davangere at about 4.30a.m.

we were in deep sleep or at least i was considering it was 4.30 in the morning, and after a full day of loitering the streets of bangalore, all we can think of doing once we got onto the bus was to get a good sleep.

saya tidur mati. seperti biasa. didn't realize anything at all until i was woken up by Mar who was sitting on my left, beside her was the window.  
"m wan bangun bangun... kite accident,"
saya masih separa sedar dengan mata yang berat amat nak buka.
"specs aku pecah,"
terkejut. akhirnya membuka mata dengan luas. terdiam. the first thing i saw in front of me was Mar holding up her frameless glasses which was broken into two halves in the middle. i can't quite recall whether it was right or left half and the surrounding was dimly lit. i can barely see only silhouettes.

terdengar suara Masliana. tak ingat dia cakap apa. her seat was on my right across the isle, next to her was Wani who sat next to the window. Wani, like me, just woke up when the accident happened and started to question Mas, "kite kat mana ni kak mas?", "ape yang jadi ni?", "kite bukan balik Malaysia ke?". hearing her muttering those words again and again, made me even more panic stricken, knowing that there's something very wrong.

tiba-tiba terasa macam mukus a.k.a hingus dari hidung kiri. darah rupanya. accident = trauma. betul jugak. meraba dalam gelap mencari tisu bagi pressure untuk kurangkan bleeding. i can feel that the bus was slunting downward and towards the left side. as if we were going downhill. outside the window, i can see the metal railings quite clearly. 'bas ni mesti terbabas langgar railing belah kiri jalan,' so i thought.

dalam suasana yang cemas, saya tersandar di atas kerusi sendiri. menggeletar. apa yang dirasakan pada masa itu, dalam kegelapan dan suara-suara cemas yang hingar-bingar, wallahua'lam. rasa macam nak nangis.

luckily, most of the passengers together with us on the bus that night are medical students. some had started to find the exit. "the door is blocked!" someone shouted. cuak! sebab tengok dalam cerita wayang kes-kes meletup lepas eksiden. harap-harap tidak ada tangki yang bocor dan sebagainya.

Masliana started to make phone calls calling for help. Alhamdulillah, our call was answered and a friends is on the way to pick us up from 'somewhere along the way'.

at the back of the bus, some guys are already breaking the glass window to make an exit route. we picked up our belongings and started to make our way to the back of the bus. we had to climb out of the broken glass window, pulled and jumped onto the stairs of another bus which was parked next to ours, and finally to the ground. memang rasa macam wayang.

sesudah menjejakkan kaki ke tanah, barulah nampak keadaan sebenar. ingatkan hanya sekadar terbabas, rupa-rupanya, ada sebuah lori yang sudah terbalik bawah bas yang kami naiki. bahagian hadapan bas hancur dan ternaik atas lori. terfikir sendiri, 'apa jadi dengan driver?' seat driver memang hancur teruk. semakin kuat getaran tangan. getaran hati, usah dikata.

First photo taken after getting out of the bus.

The impact crushed the driver's seat completely.

Cut extending middle to lower third of my left nostril.

After suturing.


nasib baik ada railing tepi jalan, kalau tak, mungkin bas dah terbalik. kalau bas terbalik, mungkin ramai yang cedera parah, patah tengkuk dan ........
nasib baik takda petrol yang bocor, kalau tak, mungkin meletup.
nasib baik eksiden dekat dengan davangere, senang nak mintak tolong.
nasib baik ada yang sudi menolong.
nasib baik seat kami di tengah bas, kalau duduk depan, mungkin tercampak dan lagi teruk cedera.
nasib baik sekumpulan juniors malaysia dah balik davangere malam sebelumnya, kalau tak ramai lagi eksiden.

not long after we got out of the bus, our friend came with his car and safely took us home.

sesampai di rumah, masuk bilik, ambil wudhu', sembahyang subuh. mula menangis dari takbir yang pertama. banyaaaaaaaaaaaaaak dosa. tapi, Allah masih bagi peluang. 'its not merely just nasib baik, i'm still given the chance to live because of Allah's grace.' layak ke untuk dapat peluang? padahal, sembahyang subuh hujung waktu. burung kat luar pon dah keluar cari makanan. sebesar dosa hamba, besar lagi rahmat Allah, besar lagi kasih sayang Allah. kalau ditakdirkan saya mati pada hari itu, bagaimana saya sekarang?

Alhamdulillah, we survived with only minor injuries. Mar had a cut near her eyes because her glasses broke. Masliana had big bump on her forehead. Mar and Masliana were awake when the bus was 'swaying' so they managed to grab on the handle at the front seat.

as for Wani, she had avulsed maxillary anteriors, chipped off teeth, cuts and bruises of her upper lip and PTS which lasted up to noon. she had tooth splinting done using orthodontic wires and composite restorative material. had to survive on soft diet for upto a month. i had a deep cut in the middle and lower third of my left nostril and got three sutures for it. selama ni suka-suka je inject intraoral LA kat patient untuk cabut gigi, rupa-rupanya kena dekat soft tissues sangat sakit. baru tau!  and of course, headache, bruises on knees and body aches from the impact that contributed to our sluggish movements a few days after the accident. Wani and i most probably hit hard on the handle instead. Disadvantage of being a deep sleeper.

beberapa hari selepas eksiden, kami mendapat berita bahawa driver bas terselamat. dia sempat melompat keluar dari bas sebelum berlanggar dengan lori. he sustained fractures of the knees and fingers, and teared some tendons. 'hebat jugak defense mechanism dia. he must have thinked and acted in a split second.' terfikir sendiri.

external trauma memang nampak di mata. tapi, internal trauma, Dia saja yang tahu. after this accident, i did not travelled anywhere and stayed put in davangere until the month of May. itu pon sebab perlu ke Bangalore untuk balik Malaysia. seriously, i can't stay in this place for even a month before this. and sekarang lebih suka travel siang dan sudah sukar tidur dalam bas. eheh. lebih berwaspada.

why Allah tested me with this? tested me with life, wayyyyy more valuable than money. this question rang in my head. apabila diuji dengan kehilangan insan yang disayangi pon dah cukup meruntun jiwa, apatah lagi bila diuji dengan nyawa sendiri. berat rasanya. saya rasa sebab Allah tahu saya memang degil dan terkadang lupa, that everything belongs to Him. this serves as a reminder to rectify my purpose of life, and to be hamba yang bersyukur. mesti ingat. mesti ingat. mesti ingat. umur hidup dah ditentukan. tanggungjawab kita untuk manfaatkan masa yang diberikan. adakah rugi atau beruntung akhirnya?

saya selalu dengar cerita orang lain eksiden. tapi, saya terlupa or tak terfikir pon, orang lain pon boleh dengar cerita saya eksiden. 

Friday, June 29, 2012

the one that got away

                     
Syarifah Affibiyah, the lost cat which was sold to us for 3000 rps. brought to Davangere to rumah mafia on the 11th September 2011. even if we pay ten folds the amount of money used to buy her, won't change the fact that she is gone. sobs.

Last seen 29th December 2011.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

2 long years

2 long years. this is how long i have not been blogging.

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh 
'peace be unto you and so may be the mercy of Allah and His blessings'

Hello! :)

my life did not just have ups and downs for the past 2 years, but there were u turns, round-abouts and roller costers. but alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah, i'm still given the chance to breathe, learn new things life has to offer, see the faces of the ones i love, and the biggest ni'mah, to still be alive&kickin' muslim.

inshaAllah, ill be graduating this 25th of September 2012. to be officially entitled Dr and hopefully to carry out all the responsibilities entrusted to me. as of now, i'm still finishing the last bit and pieces of my internship days in Preventive&Community Dentistry. the department where i was first posted in during my 3rd year undergraduate years and will be the last department i am posted to before going back to Malaysia for good. *gile sentimental*

through all the hardships of coping with 23 subjects, learning how to deal with people who do not share your opinions, how to deal when there are a lot of differences in life, and not to forget, to be in control of your feelings and thoughts; i would say, i was under a great amount of pressure. i did not only resorted to crying under my duvet in my four walled room, but, my body's immune-system also responded and i fell sick often. got dysentry, eczema, astigmatism, multiple heart breaks, tonsilitis, infections,frequent diarrhoea attacks. u name it.

but i still have to go through it and stand foot.

Allah said:

 "And certainly, We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to As-Sabirin (the patient). Who, when afflicted with calamity, say: "Truly, to Allah we belong and truly, to Him we shall return.'' They are those on whom are the Salawat (i.e., who are blessed and will be forgiven) from their Lord, and (they are those who) receive His mercy, and it is they who are the guided ones." (Qur'an 2:155-157)

“Allah does not burden any human being with more than he can bear.”  (Qur'an 2:286)


“Verily, along with every hardship is relief” (Qur'an 94:5)

and i was relieved. pergantungan hanya pada Dia. as a believer, i should always remember that He knows best, and He knows what i don't. mungkin tak cantik pada mata saya, tapi sangat cantik pada mata Dia. if all the pressure or i would describe as 'torment' was necessary for me to be who i am now, as his servant, i should abide and kept on praying that He will guide me through.